March Writing Challenge – Jason

This is from Jason. Let’s read and help him review.

One of Three parts.

Subject: Shifting POV

Setting: Any
Time Period: Any
Length: 500 Words
Restrictions: None
Due: This Month


Greg sat alone on the last seat at the back of the bus. His head rested against the window, staring outside at nothing, completely oblivious to his surroundings. His stomach growled up at him. His short legs dangled over the edge of the seat, swaying back and forth like a pendulum with each start and stop of the bus, as he got closer and closer to his inevitability. Numbness and cold ran through his small body and fear gripped his mind. All that he could do was sit and wait for the end praying in silence for God to deliver him from this terrifying situation that he finds himself trapped in. His thoughts repeat “Please God crash the bus.” But to no avail.

Mr. Dykstra drove the old school bus onward, eagerly swinging the buses squeaky doors open so that excited children could be let off to begin their weekends. “Watch your step, and have a great weekend,” Mr. Dykstra said with delight, each time he opened the doors. While Greg sat in his personal hell, the remaining children on the bus were having a great time, buzzing with energy and excitement for their stops were near. From the drivers seat, out of habit Mr. Dykstra spoke, “Quiet down please,” as he snapped the doors shut once again. The bus pulled away slowly, pouring thick black smoke from its exhaust pipe into the air. Mr. Dykstra glanced up into the rear view mirror to see if his request had any results. Just then a horn blares outside in front of the bus. Mr. Dykstra instantly jammed on the breaks while catching sight of a red Cordova crossing through the intersection blaring its horn all of the way through. The car crossed through the intersection and then slowed down. A hand with manicured finger nails reached out of the window and gave Mr. Dykstra the middle finger. Mr. Dykstra smiled and waved taking responsibility for what just happened, “Sorry…my fault.” He said in earnest. He placed the bus in neutral and pulled the parking break up. “Is everyone alright? The handful of remaining students let out a collective “yes!”

Mr. Dykstra peered back into the rear view mirror to make sure that all of the children are safe and all of are seated. Satisfied, Mr. Dykstra released the parking break and put the bus back into gear. He cautiously pulled the bus through the intersection, trying to place where he’d seen that car before. Just then a thought has struck him like a bolt of lightning and the near accident with red Cordova was pushed out of his mind. He did a quick double take into the rear view mirror again, witnessing something very peculiar at the back of the bus. Greg was actually sitting quietly and not terrorizing the rest of the students on the bus for once. Mr. Dykstra turned his attention back to navigating the narrow streets once again wondering about the sudden switch in Greg’s demeanor, and could it possibly have anything to do with a conversation that he had overheard today in the teachers lounge.

The sudden jolt snaps Greg back into the real world for a moment. He rubbed his sweaty hands against his thighs, feeling the friction of the corduroy material making him feel even worse about what is coming. Greg would soon have to face the “Judge”, and the “Judge” is relentless and unforgiving. Not even God can save him from the “Judges” fury.

…to be continued.