July Challenge Entry – Last Year’s Suspense Story

Subject: Continue a story you wrote in the last year
Setting: Any
Time Period: Any
Length: Any
Restrictions: None
Due: July

This is a continuation of last year’s suspense story.  I have a full story to go along with this that I hope to finish one day.  It’s pretty good.  Trust me.



Click.  Click. Click. ClickClickClickClickClick.

“You should take better care of your guns,” Geoff said, turning to Salvador.  “We know it works, so can you get me some fresh bullets?  The hospitality suite here sucks and I think I’m finally ready to check out of the Hotel California.”

Salvador seemed to ignore the comment but he grimaced nonetheless as he motioned to one of the guards to pick up the gun.  The guard did so and Salvador immediately took it from him.  He pulled a new set of bullets from a pouch on his belt, loaded the gun, and handed it back to the guard.  Oddly enough, Geoff noted, Salvador was focused on the smiling man.  Geoff turned to the smiling man and noticed that his eyes never left Geoff’s face.  In fact, his smile seemed to grow even larger at this last turn of events.

What the hell is wrong with you?  Your boss is right there staring at you and he doesn’t like what he sees.  Why don’t you give a shit?  Geoff looked puzzled, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort to care.  He grabbed the gun from the guard, put the gun back under his chin and pulled the trigger again.



For the first time since he had been brought here, Geoff actually heard his captors talk.  The quiet murmurs coming from the guards were definitely in spanish.  One of them grabbed the gun off the table and began inspecting it.  They all proceeded to look at it, turn it in one direction or another, take shells out, put shells back in, and ask each other questions about what else they could check.

Salvador pushed past the group and approached the smiling man.  The man finally broke his gaze from Geoff and turned to Salvador.  “This proves nothing!” Salvador said in perfect English but with a Spanish accent.  “I’d say this proves a hell of a lot,” the man replied, “I’d  also ask you to let us walk out of here without any trouble, but I really doubt that’s going to happen, even if you say it will.”  Salvador’s face contorted into a mixture of insult and rage.  For a brief moment, Geoff thought Salvador was going to kill the man at that very moment, maybe even strangle him to death with his bare hands.  Salvador looked down at the table for a moment, then picked his head back up and said “you’re going to stay here a long, long ti” BAM!

The shot caused everyone in the room to jump and temporarily deafened geoff.  He assumed everyone else must be feeling the same.  Despite the deafness and ringing in his ears, the guards were doing their best to explain the situation to Salvador  with a look of shock and terror on their faces.  Their hands were up in pleading gestures as if they expected the next shots to be directed at them..  One of the guards was slumped to the ground with the gun still held in his hand and a fountain of blood streaming out the remains of his face.  Geoff’s hearing began to return, but he couldn’t understand the words Salvador was hurriedly shouting at his men.

Geoff turned back to the smiling man.  “What the fuck just happened?” He asked.  “It sounds like the gun went off!” The man replied in a voice that was louder than necessary, as if he were trying to compensate for the hearing loss.  Now the smile seemed less knowing to Geoff and more like the dopey grin of someone who doesn’t get the joke, but smiles along anyways.  Salvador issued more commands to his guards and began pointing fingers, indicating that the guards were to do something with both men.  The smiling man shouted back at geoff, “Don’t worry!  Everything’s going to work itself out!”

One of the guards ran out of the room and headed off to the right.  The remaining three quickly yanked the smiling man out of his chair and ushered him out of the room with their guns held at the ready.  The smiling man gave Geoff a quick thumbs up as he left the room.  Salvador followed the group out, not saying a word, and suddenly, Geoff was the last living person in the room. 

The whole scene left him in shock.  He sat there, staring at the door, dumbfounded as to what had just happened.  The only friends he had for the past three years lay here dead, one of the guards were dead, he was supposed to be dead – hell, he wanted to be dead – yet everyone else walked out of the room as if he didn’t matter anymore.  Wasn’t this whole thing a setup?  Why was the guard dead too?  Was it really all about the smiling man?  And what were those noises?

Before Geoff had time to snap out of his assessment of the situation and register the muffled shouts and thuds of faces smacking into walls and floors,  the door began to open again.  The smiling man poked his head around the corner to make sure it was safe, then turned to Geoff and said “Come with me if you want to live”.  The man paused, looked down for a moment, then said, “I probably should have done that in a Schwarzenegger accent.  Sorry.”